I love my children but the one conversation I’m not looking forward to is any of the grown up ones! Both my children are inquisitive little people and I like and encourage that. I always tell them there’s no such thing as a silly question and if I don’t know the answer I can help them find it.
However I know that soon my children will enter the period known as the ‘tween’ years, those troublesome pre-teenager years. I know that I will need to be able to equip them with everything they need to know to navigate those awkward years. The trouble is that *I* still find it a bit embarrassing to talk about certain stuff, so I’m sure sure how the heck I’m supposed to deal with them and the questions I know they will ask.
Growing kids need to know that it’s okay to talk about body changes, how they’re feeling and anything that may trouble or upset them. Canesten know the importance of normalising conversation about intimate health and common intimate conditions like thrush, cystitis and BV, between mothers and their daughters. Promoting female intimate health through better knowledge means women can self-diagnose and self-treat knowledgeably and with confidence.
I remember being given a book about growing up when I was a tween. It was a silly book because instead of using real pictures of real people, it used made up pictures which didn’t make any sense. I remember taking it into school and my friends being equally confused by periods, body changes and babies and all those grown up things. I think it’s so much better to have someone to talk to than be expected to get the information from a book.
I obviously have a few years to think about how I’m going to approach these conversations with my own children. There’s nothing worse than being clueless and I know that if my children have some knowledge of what happens when they are growing up then they will so much better equipped to deal with these changes. I don’t want them to be scared or unable to talk about their worries. I hope they will always be able to talk to me, just as I was able talk to my own mum.
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I totally agree that no question is a silly question and when it comes to it I think that if you are open and honest with the kids when it comes to these things it avoids any embarrassment 🙂
I was very lucky and Mum was very open with me about intimate health and I have also been this way with my children too 🙂
I wished I’d known that I didn’t have to shy away from speaking to my mam about my intimate health for weeks because when I did eventually pick up the courage to speak to her about it, she was great and it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders!
I have learned over the years scented shower gels aren’t always best, they smell beautiful but can irritate xxx
i wish i had been told how easy it is to suffer from thrush and how simple it is to treat not something to be scared of either
To avoid heavily scented body washes and bubble bath!
I think school & my Mum covered everything I needed to know
not to be embarrassed to ask questions
I wish I had known that it was ok to discuss questions with my parents rather than getting incorrect horror stories from the playground!
I wish I had been less embarrassed about asking questions – my mother explained all about periods to me but nothing about thrush or other common vaginal health issues.
I wish I knew about time of the month earlier
I’ve learnt over the years, not to use anything too scented, otherwise it irritates and reacts to your bodies natural lubricant.
To avoid shower gels, bubble baths or any other products that were overly scented or full of chemicals because they do nothing but irritate despite smelling amazing!
You are so right about explaining things clearly to youngsters as it confuses them when they find out things second hand.
Yes we definitely shouldnt be embarrassed about these things
That’s one of the things that scare me about parenting. I tend to get shy very easily and I don’t know if I will be able to tackle such topics well enough.
I wish I knew that everyone is different and there is no perfect so I mustn’t compare myself to anyone regarding body shape or parts such as boobs
Not to be embarrassed to ask questions.
I was given the ‘talk’ so to speak but I was never made to feel comfortable discussing issues like intimate health. I wish I was reassured when I had questions x
Just been able to ask amy questions I wanted no matter how silly they sounded.
My mother were very open to intimate health with us as a child and I had an older sister, so there isn’t anything I wish I’d knew, they were always there if I needed to ask a question.
Listening to my parents would have been better and not asking questions
I wish my mum had spoken to me about periods and sex more. I was given a book to read – very “old school” (but it was many years ago!).
That it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
That everything is normal and to be able to ask frank questions
I just wish I knew more about sex,I was so naive and gullible!
I think it’s important to be honest
i wish i had someone to talk to, completely clueless trying to work it all out on my own!
Washing with warm water is all you need – none of this Femfresh rubbish!
I wish I knew that it was ok to talk about intimate health – that it wasn’t a dirty subject!
I wish that I’d had the internet back then to help me find answers, because I didn’t have a clue about anything and no one back then would answer questions. I wish I’d have known it was okay to talk about these things and not something to keep closed up about.
To share my worries with someone i would of done
I wish I’d known more about pregnancy and childbirth and what to expect. I was remarkably ill informed but then it was 24 years ago and things are pretty different now!
To get on with having a baby young
That it’s okay to talk about these things
Every question is a valid one and I think it’s great your kids are inquisitive. I never really had those talks when I was a kid x
I’ve started having these conversations with my eldest and it’s been going really well. We just talk about things as they come up.
I wish I hadn’t been so shy when I was younger so I didn’t discuss intimate health issues with anyone. I didn’t know what products to use
I wish periods etc had been better explained to me as when I started as an 11 yr old I had just lost my grandad to cancer and I was very scared this was also happening to me…
that everyone at some points has the same problems so not to be embarrased
My mum was pretty open with me, I suppose the only think I wasnt aware of and I think is quite important is scented washes, this has been mentioned a few times and I think its very true.
I am that old the subject wasn’t even covered at school! My Mum did explain one or two things, usually because she had noticed rather than me asking. It is the role of parents in my opinion to explain and guide their children, there are so many more educational and information resources out there to help.
to avoid using bubble bath
That I could ask questions and not feel embarrassed, something I am making sure my daughter is ok with so she can approach me with any problems
Always listen
I just wish I could have had the internet to find it out myself, although I got there in the end and it hasn’t done me any harm – I’m a very private and insular kind of person! I’m happy(ish) to talk to my doctor or a nurse though.
That every other person is going through the same things / changes so its ok to talk!
It’s such an important topic. I wish I’d known that every doctor has seen everything before there is no need to be embarrassed at all and to get checked out!
I tended to ask my older sister rather than my mum but would have been good to have been able to be open about things xx
I was lucky and my mum always answered questions because she wasn’t so lucky and wasn’t told anything
Not be too embarrassed to talk to my mum!
I wish I’d known what is normal and it is okay to be open about issues
I was very lucky and Mum was very open with me about intimate health
Never never never never use original source tea tree shower gel in your intimate places!!!!! Ow
I wish I had known or asked about thrush, I suffered for years before I realised what was wrong.
I wish I had known how common thrush is and what the symptons are
I wish I had known not to feel so embarrassed to talk about it.
Not to be too shy to ask things!
I knew quite a lot as my mum suffered from cystitis a lot so it wasn’t something unusual and thrush was also talked about – could go to my mum about anything
Just more in general.
I wish my mother has explained about periods and the different sanitary options. Once I knew about panty liners, tampons as well as ordinary towels for heavier flow days, I took it all in my stride but at first I thought it meant not having fun and joining in with my friends at certain times of the month
I wish I’d know that it was common for women to have intimate problems, and not to worry about visiting the doctors because they’ve seen it all before.
I wish I had known more about things like cystitis, thrush, bacterial vaginosis.
I wish I’d known more about UTIs
That there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, us women all go through it
That everyone is normal! And that it’s never embarassing to ask for a second opinion.
That there’s nothing to be embarrassed about it, it’s all perfectly normal but unfortunately feels so hidden still!
I wish I knew how many other girls worried about exactly the same things as me but we never really spoke about it.
That heavy periods are normal for some girls. And that is okay.
Wash with down below with warm water, don’t use scented products and don’t slap on the moisturizer.
Don’t be too shy to ask for advice
That its all natural
It’s ok to ask questions
That none of it’s embarrassing as we’re all the same.
I wish I’d known how to remove hair properly rather than trying to steal my dad’s razor and cut him and me to shreds
I wish I had known more about cystitis and thrush
that other people most probably have the same issues
I don’t think there was anything that I wish I’d known when I was younger
How scented soaps could affect me!!
I have to say I was fortunate to have sex ed at school and I went to an all girls school so the classes focused on issues such as intimate health
I wish I knew that it is very important to gain knowledge about intimate health and that it is a natural body change that happens to all girls so completely normal.
I was lucky – even though it was the 1960s and these things were all very hush hush, my Mum talked freely about them with me so I always understood what was happening to my body and was reassured that it was normal.
I wish I had been told about things before hearing it from other kids first
I wish I’d known that it’s ok to ask questions
I wish I’d known not to listen to school gossip / rumors
i spoke to my eldest daughter about growing up at 9 due to early periods
Intimate education seemed to be a ‘one off’ occasion in my school. There should be more information available on a continual basis, leaflets etc so that children can ask questions or find out information at any time.
I wish I hadn’t been embarrassed to ask my mum questions when I was younger. I make sure and talk about lot’s of things in front of my children so that they know they can come to me about anything and not be embarrassed.
That’s it’s not only happening to you.
I cannot think of anything that has not already been said.
I was very lucky as my parents were very open with me , never had any problem in that respect
My mum never spoke to me about anything intimate so I wish she had been more open to discussion.I have been totally different with my children though and they can talk about anything with me.
That I shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask questions and that everyone is going through the same things, it’s not just me.
Anything really I was from a very quiet family who didn’t discuss these things!
I wish I’d known where to go for advice, be it a person or a reliable website. There’s lots of poor information out there!
I wish I knew that it was OK to talk about it to my mother!
It’s totally natural, your not alone and it’s ok to talk about it all.
That everyone has been there before you so do not worry
I wish I’d known Thrush could be caused by antibiotics
to know mor about periods
I wish I knew more about infections that could occur, especially UTIs and how to avoid them. I had a lot when I was younger.
I wish I’d realised that I could ask my mom anything (which I could have), but when you are young you tend to be a little shy and think you are the only one with a problem.
I wish I was told how to take care of myself after giving birth and also informed more about coils!
I wish so much that someone had sat down with me and told me about what’s normal and what wasn’t when it came to intimate health. I have almost next to no knowledge about female conditions.
I wish I’d not been afraid of talking through things and realise that I’m not alone with all my fears!
I wish I’d known that bread crusts wouldn’t make my hair curly!!
That no question, big or small, trivial or serious, is too embarrassing to discuss with other people
I wish I’d known that I didn’t have to hide it and that it wouldn’t be so embarassing to talk to my mum about it
that it was a positive thing to talk about it and ask questions
I wish I knew that we are not all the same and our bodies work and look differently to each other.
I wish I’d known it was OK to talk about and not be too embarrassed.
that its ok to talk about and most of the time its perfectly normal
I wish I’d been less embarrassed about it and talked about it with my mam.
Luckily I could talk to my mum about anything without feeling embarrassed
I wish I’d have had the internet to look things up – I would never have discussed things like that with my mum!
Not to be so embarrassed
don’t be frightened to talk about things
I’ve always encouraged my daughter to be open and talk about things like this with me.
I wish i was more opened about intimate health with my mum and health professionals
I wish there was more information available to look up anonymously when I was younger.
I wish I’d have known that it really isn’t a dirty little secret, it’s all perfectly natural!
That some people say “vagina” when they mean “vulva”. It would have saved a bit of confusion! Great article, thank you.
That everyone is different and that normal can vary from one to another
I wish my mum had talked to be about periods. I’d read about them in a book, but didn’t believe there could really be such a thing.
That most things are normal!
My mum was always happy to answer questions so was never embarrassed so am exactly the same way with my girls xx
I wish that Canestan had been available over the counter in the 80’s , would of saved me hours waiting to see the doctor
What thrush is and how to treat it.
just not to be embarrassed and talk to my parents and teachers about stuff
That everyone has issues so if something is going on downstairs, be open and you’ll find friends have similar issues
i wish I’d been confident enough to realise that vaginas were supposed to smell like vaginas, not flowers!
What I wish I’d known about intimate health when younger? Cottoning on too late about eyebrows – noticing one day all your friends have shaped brows and yours are hairy caterpillars! 🙂
I wish i’d known that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about talking about intimate health.
I wish I had been more confident to talk about any of it!
That boys could wonder too and that’s OK
not to be embarrassed as its something that affects everyone
That your mum was young too once and wish I’d had more confidence to talk about intimate things with her!
My mum informed me about periods at quite a young age but wasn’t prepared for all the other intimate health problems such as thrush. My children now are quite open and talk about all sorts of things.
The grown up conversations will
probably be just as awkward and embarrassing for them as they will be for you. They are however a necessity so bite the bullet and you’ll be just fine!
I wish I had not felt embarrassed to talk about it and I wish that other people didn’t attach such a stigma to it. Its good to talk about it!
That its not good to use scented soaps and wipes ‘down there’ my three daughters have just recently told me, they teach me more than I teach them xx
I just wish how I knew how to talk to my Mum about it, I always got so embarrassed so never asked her anything and had to learn the hard way x
I wish I knew that everyone is different and people won’t judge you if you ask a question x
I was too nervous to talk to my mum about anything let alone intimate health. Thankfully I have a lovely relationship with my daughter who is not too scared to talk to me.
I wish I had known that it was perfectly OK – and sometimes necessary – to ask questions!
to do your pelvic floor exercises
I wish i knew that people won’t judge when you ask questions and it is good to talk to someone about it who knows more about it, doctors etc
I wish I’d known about reusable sanitary protection
I wish I had been less embarrassed about asking questions
That everyone has the same worries
Didn’t even know about menopausal symptoms, such as dryness and painful intercourse – wish these things were talked about more x
So difficult to speak about i wish i knew who to speak to about it but i didnt
Not to be afraid to ask questions
I wish i had not been so embarassed about asking intimate questions
I wish I had been less embarrassed about asking about periods because my mum was dying from lung cancer and I couldn’t ask the questions we all have and so I was scared when I eventually got mine at 15.
I think it is important to always ask questions and not be embarrased
I think it is important to always ask questions and not be embarrassed
Doctors have seen it all before
I’m one of the lucky ones, my Mum was always open and honest so I didn’t have any worries.
I wish I had known not to use talcum powder in intimate areas.
I wish I knew that no one else can smell you! The angst of paranoia I experienced!
it’s okay to talk about these things
I remember my mum giving me a packet of sanitary towels and saying that I might be needing these soon. And then she almost ran way. We’d already covered it in school, so I was just amused by it. I really didn’t want to have a conversation with my mum about anything personal. Just as well she bought me the towels though, think I started my period the summer before senior school.
I wish I knew not to be embarrassed to ask questions or talk about things xx
I wish I’d known it’s nothing to be ashamed of – it annoys me that it’s still quite a taboo subject to talk about.
I wish I had talked about my feelings when I was younger. Some thing I am determined to do with my son.
I wish I’d known that anything with perfume in it causes irritation. In soaps, bubble bath, bath salts, shower gel etc.
i wish intimate health didnt feel so embarrasing to talk about. i still find it uncomfortable now
that a vaginal douching is not recommended
I wish I had known more about periods – I remember when I started mine I locked myself in the toilet and cried and cried!
Avoid strongly scented body washes , bubble bath & shower gels.
I wish someone had told us at school about the menstral cycle, it came as a nasty surprise, I thought I was dying
not to be ashamed in asking question
Every body gets it, don’t be embarrassed to buy something at the chemist
I think I was lucky that I found out most things as I needed to know them but I did spend a bit of time being a bit confused when I was younger because my brother told me that ladies “pooped out babies”.
I wish my mother had been more open and easy to talk to. I couldn’t talk to my mother about anything to do with intimate health and I wish I could have done. I couldn’t even tell her when I got my period as she just was so unapproachable with things like that. She informed me about periods and sex by giving me a booklet to read at 9 about growing up/body changes and periods and a book at 11 or 12 about sex. We never discussed anything that was in the book together and I certainly was not free to go and ask any questions! Later when I lived with my grandma, she told me all sorts of things, she told me when her period started (age 15) and when it ended (52) so I have a lot more knowledge from my grandma. I have no idea any of these things from my own mother as it’s still not the type of stuff she would discuss.
I wish I had known you are not supposed to wash the inside of your vagina!
i think to be confident and ask the right people
i like to think my daughter could always talk to me no matter what the subject
Not to be embarrassed to ask any questions.
I was lucky and my mum was happy to answer any questions I had. I’ve always been open to talking to my kids too.
I wish I’d known so much as my mother never discussed anything with us, think she was too embarrassed, now I know there’s nothing at all to be embarrassed about and can discuss everything openly with my kids x
I wished I’d known not to use scented products
more in general
I wished I had known not to feel so alone about experiencing periods early on
my mum didn’t talk about this kind of thing so everything & anything would have been a bonus, so its made me determined to make sure my kids don’t feel like they can’t as questions