motherhood NCT playing

Playgroups and cliques

Posted on May 18, 2011

Yesterday I ventured to our local NCT playgroup for the first time. I’ve been meaning to go for ages but never got round to it.

The playgroup was held in a lovely building with plenty of outdoor space. Indoors, the room was split into different play zones with space for soft play, art and crafts, musical toys, a pretend kitchen, a jigsaw table and dressing up clothes.

We paid £1.50 for the play session which lasted 90 minutes and ended up with a singing session.

I was really disappointed with it. It was our first time there and no-one spoke to us! Fortunately I met up with another mum and her 12 month old so we did have someone to talk to but if I hadn’t known her I think I would have left 🙁 I don’t know why the NCT has such a great reputation as I find it so cliquey and full of Boden-clad mums who I wouldn’t want to be friends with.

Edward had a great time and I hope we’ll go again as there was a great range of toys and I want him to be sociable and at ease amongst his peers. I don’t understand why I get so intimidated by groups of mums but I need to make sure Edward turns out more confident than I am. He often picks up on my mood and seems to be happiest at story sessions at our local library where the parents and children are a more diverse and friendly group.

I’m hoping I’m not the only person to feel intimidated by play groups. Anyone else got any tips for being a confident mum?

11 Comments

  • Reply
    Liz Burton
    May 18, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    I’ve often thought the same about lots of different playgroups, but without a doubt I’ve found NCT groups the worst.

    Even the leaders make no effort to involve you. Like you, I really don’t know why everyone raves about them! LOL at your ‘Boden clad mums’ – you hit the nail on the head.

    • Reply
      jenny
      May 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      Glad it’s not just me, I was prepared for a backlash!

  • Reply
    Anna
    May 18, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    I can completely identify with this. I’ve tried a few different play groups in my area and have rarely been back more then once or twice, as it’s impossible to break those Boden-barriers. Why so rude??
    Thank goodness for friendly bloggers, eh?

    • Reply
      jenny
      May 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      You’d think mums would be a bit more supportive though, everyone’s been a newbie at some point!

  • Reply
    Lucy J
    May 19, 2011 at 10:50 am

    I’m sorry you had such a hard time at your NCT playgroup. I run an NCT bumps and babes group, which is focussed on giving the mums access to support and information. I make it a point to welcome each new arrival and introduce them to the other mums. It’s hard enough being a mum without feeling isolated!

    Also, I can definitely say, none of us are Boden clad. Again, on behalf of the other NCT members I apologise. We are not all like that 🙂

    • Reply
      jenny
      May 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

      Hi Lucy,

      Thank you for taking the time to comment.
      I appreciate my experience wasn’t typical of other NCT playgroups. I just wanted to vent my frustration that it’s not just new mums that need support, even mums of 14 month olds need a friendly welcoming smile sometimes!

  • Reply
    MummyMummyMum
    May 19, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    I’ve often found that with playgroups too. 🙁 I’ve got braver over time and now just start to chat to people.

    I’m glad Edward had a good time though. xx

    • Reply
      jenny
      May 19, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      I’m definitely going to work on being brave and talking to other people more – if there is a next time!

  • Reply
    I'm So Fancy
    May 20, 2011 at 6:49 am

    They scare me. I send the Nanny!

  • Reply
    @Speegetti
    May 22, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Yes I don’t think you’re the only one either. I tried a few local playgroups when I had my first baby, but found that most mums were cliquey and stuck to their own little groups. I know its a two way street and sometimes I do find it difficult to strike up conversations with people I don’t know, but like you I didn’t find any “leader” of the group who tried to introduce people and get conversation started. I was surprised because I thought mums and babies groups would be friendly and welcoming! I didn’t really bother with them after the first few attempts – like you our local library has been a much better option because there is a focused activity which gets people talking more. Also I find that a lot of the carers there are grandparents, who seem a lot less cliquey and much more friendly!

  • Reply
    Blue Sky
    May 23, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    I did attend a local mother and toddler group in Dublin with Smiley, and I didn’t feel particularly welcome – but because she is disabled I had to be by her side most of the time so it didn’t matter so much. On the other two I was working. Over from Blog Gems x

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