When it begins to grow clear that a divorce is on the cards, the first thing on any parents’ mind is how they can make the situation work for their children. It’s no secret that this will be upsetting and frightening for children of any age, but there are practical steps we can take to ensure that our children are put first, and brought out to the other side without any needless stress.
How to Make Divorce Less Stressful for Your Children
Read more below.
Keep Everything Divorce-Related Separate from the Family Home
It can be difficult to appreciate the fact that your children have – and need – an entirely different perspective to yours. While you see the family home as being ‘in transition’ as the divorce proceeds, children are less equipped to cope with that sense of things changing.
Whether you and your partner have a turbulent relationship, or remain amicable, shouldn’t matter. Arguments and civil discussions alike should be kept away from the family home, in order to keep your children separate from the practicalities.
Work with a Divorce Solicitor
While you will no doubt be working to keep the legal practicalities of your divorce far away from your children, there is no denying that working with an experienced divorce solicitor will have a profound impact on the course your divorce takes – and, of course, the toll it takes on you.
What’s more, divorce solicitors hold considerably more experience in understanding your rights as a parent, and working to find a fair and manageable solution for childcare following your separation.
For this reason alone, it is far better to work with a firm that shows a strong commitment to avoiding confrontation, while working steadfastly toward a solution that is fair for you and your children. For instance, Willans, a respected divorce solicitors in Cheltenham, are members of Resolution, an organisation dedicated to ensuring this delicate balance is struck.
Plan Everything Ahead
For any child, splitting their time between two separate households represents a major change, and something that can take a long time to get used to.
A lack of forward planning on your part can easily make everything worse. Children can sense when their parents are feeling lost or stressed – and, of course, will know when they are being ferried back-and-forth without any real, workable structure.
So, whether it’s the weekend or the summer holidays, you need to put the time into creating a clear and manageable structure with your ex-partner, in order to keep things running smoothly for your children.
Stick to One Story
Getting your children to understand the divorce only represents one side of the situation. The other side goes on for much longer than a single conversation, and relies on you being able to continue to put your children first, even if it’s difficult.
We are talking, of course, about maintaining a certain level of respect for your ex-partner as you continue to co-parent and share custody – at least as far as your children are concerned – and not letting any frustrations cause you to cast them in a negative light in front of your children.
Remember how you initially explained the divorce to your children, and continue to follow that same vein of amicableness and mutual respect for the years to come.